‘No Regrets Coyote;

We’re Just A Prisoner of the White Lines on the Free, Freeway.’

Joni Mitchell

Joni Mitchell

Dear fearful child,

“Forget the pursuit of happiness - have it now! “ Love, your soul.

I say to my soul & my fear often, ‘So what the hell are we waiting for?’ Love, me.

And…Boom! My soul replies straight out of the gate;

“I’m gonna expand the crap out of you! Honour and respect yourself girl, is the name of the game now and knowing that you have as much value as anyone else will mean you will stop giving your power away looking after others and feeling drained and looking for their approval as a result and being exhausted by it all.”

When I listen, and sometimes I don’t, an inner, deeply-felt, sense of Lightness of Being comes over me and is mine for the taking.

Soul goes on; “Especially as you’re all of you self-isolating now - use your time to go inside and reclaim those lost parts of your Self. Focus on what and who is trying to get out. It’s for you to notice yourself now. Not anyone else’s job.

Ask yourself, what and who inside of you is feeling the fear. I think you’ll find, if you really stay with yourself without the distractions of this glut of distractions all around you in your lives, that it’s your small self crying, abandoned, inconsolable and frightened of dying and being alone and unloved. It’s the same for you all. That’s the panic. That’s the fear. That’s the pandemic.”

The Pursuit of Happiness

As I stop abandoning myself for 5 minutes, as I reclaim myself and buckle down to the Reveal and Heal, I do become empowered and my inner fighter spirit is ignited.

But I gotta tell ya, this is some process; It fires up and then snuffs out; it’s layer upon layer of me stuffing down the pain and the fear over the years. And what, now I expect it to just shift itself free and I’m as I want to be? Well actually yeah boss, I do!

But I know now it doesn’t happen quite like that, though sometimes it can. Nope, I gotta get connected to my spiritual self first before I can reach my Nirvana! And that’s usually provoked by my last nerve being trod upon by a whole lot of triggering elephantine herds out there  - a particularly unpleasant person saying particularly unpleasant things to me or about me or a crisis or a huge problem that will seem insurmountable to me that forces me to shed the pity-party tears, see myself in the mirror of that particularly unpleasant situation, squirm a lot, then give in  - a little! Funny thing is

“A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it”

Ain’t that the truth!

Mooji-ji is a great salve and my go-to zen moment, in times of crisis. He wisely says -

“OBSERVE not only the fear but the one who is afraid until you see your ego madness - the one who is looking at the madness, is that one afraid itself? If you don’t see the one who sees your ego madness fearing death itself then you’ll require medication as you stay fixed in the fear! When you see the one who sees then the breath changes, you calm down and you see clearly that the one that watches fear is not afraid. Our carnal identity resists this exercise; but this exercise exorcises the fear. Just pay attention. We become more erratic and fearful the more distracted we are from our centre. Our centre is our Self and it’s not a personal centre.” Mooji

The Pursuit of Happiness

My soul continues: “So hear this dear one. No human moves through the world without some experience of pain or grief or fear. Those are the soul gifts to bring you home to you. You all have a child inside who’s yearning to be held and reassured. To be made safe. To be listened to. To be understood. To be encouraged. To be grounded with love and patience. So, you start listening to that one; you don’t need anyone else to hear you today. Be accountable for you.You don’t need them to hear you or for you to be seen by them today. That was then. This is now.

Not everyone is lucky enough to have had that total love as children, but as adults we can learn to provide it for ourselves. As a ‘wounded’ sufferer and now a motherless mother, you do try sometimes to meditate not on what you need but what this inner child inside needs. But not always. Let’s get you to always. Know that if you can take care of her, you  can take care of yourself. When you can take care of yourself, your inner power grows

The Pursuit of Happiness

and you have no fear. And remember, you are there, you’ve always been, waiting patiently for you to see.
The same power that someone once had over you still has power over you and your lives now, unless and until you decide, to lead the healing inside of you. What will it take for you to stop being addicted to the old patterns, to let them go and sit on your own butt?

Image - Ani Kaspar
Image - Ani Kaspar
This pandemic is your worst nightmare and your time for the healing. You are, right now, being forced to heal your worst nightmares. What the worst nightmares are depends on the individual. But collectively the abuse on the planet that humans have caused, must be healed.

This virus is tapping into some deep, subconscious, karmic times where you were starved to death or we were killed by being betrayed or you caught the plague or any number of horrible things happened to you, so it’s in your deep subconscious karma, in your spiritual memory until you let it go.

The Pursuit of Happiness

So, right now you have to allow yourselves to see this, shine your light on it, thank it for some weird kind of protection over the years but then let it go; get rid of this and face those fears so that you’re not trembling any more and redefine how you’re going to respond on the inside.

You have to respond on the inside before you respond on the outside and have that go well for you because of the change of energy you’re putting out; it has to be so.

And think on this - every thought is a command, so make sure you give yourself respectful and honourable thoughts about yourself first and then others.

The heart needs to consider, to contemplate calmly, the way you respond to yourself and the most simple question is: “Am I going to go into faith or fear?”

And really, faith or fear pretty much is the finale question at the ending of the Age of Pisces; where we, humanity have been for the last two thousand years giving our individual rights and power away to a Patriarchal ‘privileged’ ruling few.

What will it be? Are you going to move into faith? If you’re going to move into faith, then great, you have all these cool, new tricks in metaphysics available as you’re moving into The Age of Aquarius,The Feminine Aspect Age of what-it-is-to-be-truly-human-Age, which is being called The Golden Age, the-spiritual-awareness-of-love-compassion-and-peace-Age.

This Aquarian Age is where you’re going to be getting into Wave Form and being able to manipulate your own reality with those Wave Forms. That’s where the magic wants to go once you are faith-based - to know the content or discontent with Self and what healing you are going to effect for yourself and be responsible for now.”

At this point, you’ll notice, I have gone completely quiet. It is only when I shut up that I can hear. I can hear clearly then. And the fear no longer has a hold around my scrawny neck.

My soul has a last few thoughts to share:

“Understanding relieves and replaces the need to be retaliatory, defensive and insecure and in fear. Where will you, dear heart, place your heart?

 The Pursuit of Happiness

As the great psychoanalyst Carl Jung was forever saying, ‘wholeness for humans depends on the ability to own our own shadow’—our shadow’ being the dark angry, egocentric and alienated aspects of your lives that you can now ameliorate with understanding. You can feel safe now to let it all go, let it be, let it all work out…

I wish for you your enlightenment at this time, for it is in this state of awareness and awakening that you will heal your soul, your self, your beautiful planet and all the sentient beings who live on her.

It is time. And so it is.

Lovingly, your soul.”

I wish for you the same.

Lovingly, Pam

written - 18 March 2020